Thursday, January 13, 2011

another day

Got another call today... Everytime I see the words "WITHHELD" show up on the screen, I'm always a little hesitant to answer the phone.

"Julie...." he starts. "I'm really sorry about calling last night. I'm sorry I made you cry. Are you still going to help me and take me to a long term facility when I go?" I told him he had to stay there and get the help he needed first and not be in a big hurry to go somewhere else. He told me he was going to stay there the full 29 or so days and while he was there continue to find a duel diagnosis facility where he could do long term care... Keeping my fingers crossed he sticks with his plan. Things are always changing..

Last night I found myself crying uncontrollably and thats ok...... It was a mixture of being overwhelmed with anger, pain, hurt, and sadness... Dealing with this kinda stuff on a daily basis is such a roller coaster... He'll do good, then he'll do bad, then its back to good. Its emotionally exhausting because you're happy, then sad, then mad, etc. But then again I'm sure anyone who's been through this, knows this already... So instead of working my part time job today, I took it off (i've been feeling crummy anyways)... and stayed at home... All I've done is lay in bed and watch TV.... Oh.. And got a much needed good laugh from the Gas X commercial that says, "your son Rip is on line toot!" :) lol. Today I made time for myself... I really needed it.

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